Golf Lovers Online
Golf is a game you spend hours on - away from family, the stresses of the office, and the banality of what has become your bedroom life. You need to relax. We are here to take your extracurricular game to a level you never thought possible. You are already given grief over your recreation. Stop the cover up. Stop using a golf weekend as an excuse when you are very close to getting caught taking what is rightfully yours. Your love affairs are legitimate. You work hard. You are balding. The company depends on you.

Hard working men, stop bumbling around with feeble excuses and paper thin alibis. Don't rely on your drunken buddies to get their story straight. Leave your dirty work to the professionals. Golf Lovers Online is a full-service cover-up company offering airtight alibis to the adulterers of America. A web of lies on the web, so to speak. Everybody knows that the only way to have great sex in a long-term relationship is to bring in a third party. About half of all married men are unfaithful at some point in their lives so there is a big market out there for our services. With modern technology, it is much more difficult to go undetected these days. Wives will track you with technology any chance they get (ask about our Professional Bug Sweep services). You have to work a lot harder these days to cover your tracks and destroy the electronic trail. Golf Lovers Online makes sure your alibi is up to par. We are the honest dishonesty specialists.


Do you want your wife to think that you are golfing with the boys in San Andreas while you are actually boning your neighbor's daughter in Cancun? Do you want to convince her that you are playing 18 holes with a business partner while your intern's legs are wrapped around your head tighter than a vice grip? What she doesn't know won't hurt her. What she finds out will fuck your income for life.

Golf Lovers Online has a wide selection of alibi packages available for your extra-marital enjoyment. You buy it so your wife will buy it! We can send out fake flight, hotel and car rental confirmations. We can mail you bogus resort brochures and tee reservations. We have a 24-hour hotel desk number, staffed by struggling actors with an aptitude for accents.

Our phone routing service enables you to call anywhere in the world, from the comfort of your local lap dancing club. To convince your wife that you are in the clubhouse instead of the whorehouse, we can overlay your phone calls with a range of different background noises. We will supply you with phony receipts and your credit card purchases can be channeled through our partner company so that your statement reads 'Las Venturas Golf Club'. We can provide a digital photo of you on the 18th hole, guaranteed to restore trust in even the most doubting spouse. For additional authenticity, we can send a postcard from your fictional destination and purchase you a local gift. It's the little gestures that count. If you play it right, you might end up getting some ass from your wife as well! Ask about our special doctors notices that give you an excuse when your wife says she's got a strange discharge from an STD. You'll have a note that says it's from the water where you were in Puerto Vallarta. Easy!


Getting a hole in one, working on your grip, taking your approach shot, putting from the rough, grounding your club, perfecting your stroke play, driving with your best wood... ah, the innuendos are endless. Golf is a great game. You feel inadequate. Beat your balls senseless and don't let ANY woman stand in your way. This is your destiny. She's holding you back. Golf Lovers Online facilitates that future.